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DEAR FRIENDS.

I UNDERSTAND THAT THE ONLY WAY TO FEEL BETTER IS TO LAUGH AND TO WRITE IT DOWN. I HAVEN’T BEEN AROUND FOR A WHILE, I KNOW, BUT AS MY CHAOTIC PROSE COMMENCES, I FEEL, ONCE AGAIN, SO HAPPY TO CONNECT WITH YOU.

AFTER THE LONG WINTER AND THE START OF THE NEW YEAR I FELT LIKE A VERY DIFFERENT ME. IN THE SPRING I FOUND MY PIANO. I DON’T SEEM TO BE ABLE TO THINK OF ANYTHING ELSE. BURNING ACHES AND ANXIETIES TRICKLE AWAY WHEN I TINKLE ON IT. A STARTLING GLOSSY EBONY DIVINITY WITH GOLDEN STRINGS AND A SUSTAIN THAT CARRIES YOU AWAY WITH THE FAIRIES.

I READ ABOUT A KING WHO GAVE UP HIS KINGDOM TO LIVE IN A CAVE. I AM NOT A KING AND I DON’T PLAY WELL, BUT MY PIANO IS MY CAVE. EVEN AFTER A BEAUTIFUL, SUCCESSFUL TOUR, I AM IN SUCH A CLOUDY FUG OF NOTHING THAT WRITING AND RECORDING SEEMS UNBEARABLE. I FEEL BLOCKED.

NEVERTHELESS, I AM THROWING MYSELF INTO THE NEXT ALBUM. WISH ME WELL.

TOO MUCH COFFEE, TOO MUCH WINE, TOO LITTLE SLEEP. UPPING, DOWNING, CLUBS, FOREIGN BEDS AND ADRENALIN FOR THE LAST MONTH HAS PUT ME INTO A MOODY COMA AND BEING HOME IS AN UNCOMFORTABLE GLIMPSE AT THE LIFE I WILL NEVER HAVE. BUT I DO HAVE A GARDEN. FOR REFLECTIVE MOMENTS AND THE INFINITY FEELING. BEING IN IT IS MIND SOOTHING, THOUGH, UNFORTUNATELY, I CAN NOT KEEP PLANTS ALIVE. WITHERING AWAY, SLIPPING THROUGH MY UNGREEN FINGERS. THERE ARE DEEP LESSONS IN PATIENCE, THE PASSAGE OF TIME AND THE ENORMITY OF THINGS OUTSIDE TINY HUMANS TO BE LEARNED MINGLING WITH PLANTS.

I WATCHED A DOCUMENTARY ABOUT THE TOWN WHERE I WAS BORN. I WAS CONFUSED AND VERY EMOTIONAL. IT WAS SAD TO WATCH IMPOVERISHED PEOPLE BEING SO WARM AND MATTER OF FACT. NO JOBS, NO CARE, BAD HEALTH BUT HUMOUR AND A HUMBLE SPIRIT. ENJOYING WHAT THEY HAVE. I GREW UP WITH THIS AND SOMETIMES YEARN TO BE BACK THERE. BUT NO. KEEP MOVING AND DOING. NO U-TURNS. I WILL WRITE A SONG ABOUT IT.

TODAY WE BEGAN RECORDING IAMX4. I SAY WE, BECAUSE I HAVE MADE THE CHOICE TO INVOLVE OTHERS. MY INTENTION IS TO RECORD AND COLLABORATE, PERFORM AND INDULGE MYSELF. RISKY BUT EXCITING.

ALTHOUGH I DO FEEL BLOCKED I HAVE COLLECTED A LOT OF MATERIAL SINCE KOWA. OUT-TAKES AND HALF SONGS WILL BECOME THE BUILDING BLOCKS  OF THIS RECORD.

APART FROM THE CABLE SPAGHETTI AND THE HUM WE MANAGED TO PRODUCE A SETTLED GRINDING LIVE SOUND FOR THE FIRST TRACK, BASED MAINLY ON THE SETUP OF AN IAMX LIVE SHOW. MANY QUIRKY INSTRUMENTS AND KEYBOARDS. EFFECTS AND ATMOSPHERES. HEADS WIDE OPEN. WITH THIS APPROACH  I AM TRYING AS HARD AS POSSIBLE TO STOP MYSELF BEING IN THE USUAL SMALL DARK ROOM ALONE AND IN CONTROL. TOO MANY SOLITARY STUDIO  HOURS. IT SEEMS THAT THE DAYS OF SCREEN STARING AND SCREAMING NAKED WINE SESSIONS COULD BE OVER.

THESE ARE VOLATILE TIMES.

XX

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