title-metanoia-02

NO MAKER MADE ME

And the magic light
That appears to shine
Is not the light of
Benevolent design

No maker made me
Everything I believed has died so silently
Now I live on a wire chasing shadows
My mind is tired
But my heart’s too stubborn to let go

No maker made me
I will never be hijacked by the fairytale
We can always just fuck away our sorrows
Mouth to mouth we thrive
We’ve got everything we need to survive

HAPPINESS

I know I’ll never feel the same
I know I may never accept the change but I want
Happiness

I’m staring blank at my screen
Waiting for a sign, waiting for a smile to come to me
Happiness

Every day the news is death
You power drunk fuckers are filling my head with despair
Not happiness

Liars

Maybe I became too clean
Maybe the drugs are the only way to be free
Happiness

No breaking the anxiety
The man that I tried to but could never be faded out
With happiness

Everday hypocrisy
I see the zombies walking down the street and it kills me
Their happiness

Liars

NORTH STAR

4AM
Raging hard
And I feel like I’m a child again

Neon streets
I’m so high
I can’t quiet my bionic mind

North star, I need you to guide me home
North star, I want you to guide me home

I need help
I’ve seen bad things
and I cannot make them disappear

I want flesh
To bring me happiness
‘cause I feel nothing, I feel nothing

North star, I need you to guide me home
North star, I want you to guide me home

It’s the blue hour again
In the world there is a horror of plagues
Do you still love me?

Stand tall, shoulders back, feeling brave
Who am I? Who am I?

There’s dirt under my feet, a breeze across my cheeks
Scorpions in the sand
I can feel them, I can feel them

Reprogram, repeat
I am real, I am good

SAY HELLO MELANCHOLIA

Can’t shake the headaches
Can’t break the chain
I ache for your touches
Bittersweet foreplay

When your legs come open
I run ‘cause I’m afraid

You will feel my every fear
You will cry my every tear
Say hello melancholia
I want you to adore me
I want you to ignore me
Say hello melancholia

Your pale complexion
Tender embrace
I feel elevation
I feel disgrace
But I know you need it
And if I must I will obey

You will feel my every fear
You will cry my every tear
Say hello melancholia
I want you to adore me
I want you to ignore me
Say hello melancholia

The never ending story of me is playing out tonight
The manic stream, the paranoid dreams are waiting in line

THE BACKGROUND NOISE

I’ve got a big house
I’ve got a fast car
I believe, I am free
I’m a good citizen
Proud of my children
I love my wife
I love my life

But something isn’t sitting right
Something wakes me up at night
The background noise

My government respects me
My gun is my security
My wealth accounts
My loyalty counts
I abide by society
I give to charity
I turn to faith when I cannot explain

INSOMNIA

The day is incomplete
The thoughts of total defeat
I don’t know what is happening to me
Or if I’ll die ‘cause I just never sleep

You awoke into my night
You could see the madness in my eyes

I’ve lost control please save me from myself

My conscience begs for time
But you can’t fight the clock ticking inside
I’m just a bigger baby me
Acting smart, oh what irony

Where will I end up tonight?
Getting fucked or frying my mind?

I’ve lost control please save me from myself

Calm me down with your caress
I’ll get off while I watch you undress
Maybe the sex will help me to forget
A precious transience, schizophrenic bliss

Oh my god you’re beautiful
Why do you stay with this neurotic fool?

LOOK OUTSIDE

Look outside, the wilderness
The wilderness is calling our names
The blackest skies, the daunting stars
The desert sun melting our cold hearts

If you feel like the spark has gone
We just need a place where we can belong

Look outside at raw beauty
The good work of a billion years
The blackest wine in front of me
Drink up little boy and wash down your tears

Los Angeles you took care of me
I raise my broken glass to your sanctuary

OH, CRUEL DARKNESS EMBRACE ME

Worship the screen
Cocksucker lies
There’s a stream of middle-class hypocrisy tonight
Every time we beg for the rich man to provide
There’s countries to be conquered
People to divide

Oh cruel darkness, want you to embrace me
It’s a fucked up world and it’s driving my poor heart crazy

We’re all sleepwalking
The American Dream
In a loop of building the cage and burying the keys
There’s only good and bad, there’s nowhere in between
Everybody loves to judge
Everybody thinks they’re clean

Oh cruel darkness, want you to embrace me
It’s a fucked up world and it’s driving my poor heart crazy

APHRODISIAC

Sweetheart, where do you come from?
You’re burning like a fire in my head
You’re the perfect vision
Baby, beautiful heathen
I love you like I’ve never loved before
You’re my hardcore obsession

I want your contact
I think I cannot fight your aphrodisiac
I know that only you can make me whole
Only you can make me whole

Sweat-drenched shallow compulsions
I’m crying the tears of my youth they’re pouring out
I get no satisfaction
I’m drowning in virgins and Russians
You’ll do anything to force out the burning bad in me
You make me animal, you’re an infection

I want your contact
I think I cannot fight your aphrodisiac
I know that only you can make me whole
I’m feeling that only you can make me whole

SURRENDER

Checking my heart again
It’s still beating
Grayer than winter days
The clouds in my head

All my life
I’ve been changing lanes
I’m so bored of taking my chances
Of making mistakes

Now I need to surrender
Oh I want to surrender

Years in a concrete box
TV, vodka shots
Breaking my knees on stage
Repeat and get up again

All my life
I’ve been changing lanes
I’m so bored of taking my chances
Of making mistakes

Now I need to surrender
Oh I want to surrender

Freaks are dying
Where did we go Berlin?

WILDEST WIND

You’re the wildest wind
The electric moon
Sunday morning photographs will only open
Sunday morning wounds
When the melody ends
I will be waiting here for you
My wildest wind
Come blow into my room

You’re with me
Walking the fields of perversion and mockery
But we’re changing
Piecing together our jigsaw of failures
I miss you
Even in your four day therapy vacation
But the light here
Is brilliant enough to help me focus

You’re the wildest wind
You’re the home beneath the ruin
Self loathing or the darkest drug
Will never keep me from loving
Oh you make my heart sing
Every time you brush against me
My wildest wind
Come make me smile again

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